Copyediting Choice Scarf Galarian Zapdos (Fighting) (QC 2/2) (GP 1/1)

TheKingsLeap

TheKingsLeap

[SET]
Zapdos-Galar @ Choice Scarf
Name: Choice Scarf (Fighting)
Ability: Defiant
EVs: 252 Atk / 4 Spd / 252 Spe
Jolly Nature
- Brave Bird
- Close Combat
- Steel Wing / Knock Off
- U-turn

[SET COMMENTS]
Galarian Zapdos is an excellent Choice Scarf user on Fighting teams thanks to its unique set of traits within the type; Steel Wing notably OHKOes a huge threat to Fighting teams in Mega Diancie while also nailing Tapu Lele and Alolan Ninetales. Knock Off targets Psychic- and Ghost-types like Galarian Slowking, Jirachi, and Galarian Corsola. Finally, U-turn can bring in teammates while getting chip damage on the opposing foe as well as switching Galarian Zapdos out of bad matchups like Slowbro and Gholdengo. Iron Valiant equipped with Choice Specs or a Z-Crystal is able to wallbreak through Pokemon that wall Galarian Zapdos such as Kyurem, Latias, Raging Bolt, and Tapu Koko. Mega Gallade is another great teammate for Galarian Zapdos as it acts as a great setup sweeper and wallbreaker with Swords Dance and greatly improves the Poison matchup. Iron Hands also pairs well, as it has a neutrality to Flying and can hit Flying-types with Ice Punch or Thunder Punch as well as having access to a slow Volt Switch that can bring Galarian Zapdos in safely. Iron Hands's great bulk also allows it to take on otherwise problematic threats like Enamorus-T, Tornadus-T, and Pelipper. Great Tusk is a nice support Pokemon for Galarian Zapdos, as it provides an Electric-immune teammate as well as Rapid Spin and Stealth Rock support, helping Galarian Zapdos get more KOs. It's also a great physical wall and can take out threats such as Iron hands and Zeraora. In return, Galarian Zapdos handles Grass-types like Ogerpon-W, Tapu Bulu, and Mega Venusaur for it. Finally, Hisuian Lilligant can be a good team member for Galarian Zapdos, as it provides sleep support, taking counters to Galarian Zapdos out of the picture and easing the Water and Ground matchups. Hisuian Lilligant and Galarian Zapdos also make a great late-game cleaning duo.

[CREDITS]
Written by:
https://www.smogon.com/forums/members/thekingsleap.637816/
Quality checked by:
https://www.smogon.com/forums/members/boomp.637295/
https://www.smogon.com/forums/members/mateeus.321991/
Grammar checked by:
 
Last edited:
boomp

boomp

Never Give Up
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AMQC
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[SET]
Zapdos-Galar @ Choice Scarf
Name: Choice Scarf (Fighting)
Ability: Defiant
EVs: 252 Atk / 4 Spd / 252 Spe
Jolly Nature
- Brave Bird
- Close Combat
- Steel Wing / Knock Off
- U-turn

[SET COMMENTS]
Galarian Zapdos is an excellent Choice Scarf user on fighting teams;[This is not telling me why its a great choice scarfer. This is basically competing against Sneasler or Iron Valiant so explain why the reader should use Gapdos over Sneasler or Iron Valiant(don't actually mention sneasler). Sniping M diancie, Knock Off, not getting intimidated, and pivoting.] Brave Bird threatens pesky certain threats such as Sneasler, Great Tusk, Volcarona, Kommo-o, Tapu Bulu Sinistcha, Mega Venusaur and Mega Gallade.[Too much examples.] Close Combat is spammable STAB that can hit other bulky pokemon for super effective such as Archaludon, Garganacl, Heatran, Ferrothorn, Kyurem, Ting Lu and Iron Treads.[Not necessary since we are/teammates are naturally good against them (on a fighting team.)] Steel Wing covers Fairy-types such as Mega Diancie, Tapu Lele, Galarian Weezing and Mimikyu.[Steel Wing honestly is only for M Diancie this allows Gapdos to OHKO it which is huge. Lele and Mimikyu rather just be Brave Bird as it's a roll to OHKO both Lele and Mimikyu while Steel Wing is always a 2HKO. Geezing takes negative damage from it (4HKO) and we wouldn't want it to stay in vs it to a potential burn or just flat out Strange Steam.] (Add a Knock Off sentence.) Finally, U-turn is a pivoting move that can bring in teammates while getting chip on the opposing foe. Iron Hands is a great teammate as it has a flying neutrality and can hit opposing flying types with Ice Punch or Thunder Punch, as well as having access to a slow volt switch that can bring Galarian Zapdos in safely.[Talk about how not only it provides flying neutrality, but due to its great bulk it allows Iron hands to take out threats like Enamorus, Zard Y, and Pelipper.] Other great teammates are Okidogi or Sneasler as they provide a much needed Fairy neutrality and can hit back with their Poison STAB especially against faster Choice Scarf pokemon like Iron Valiant.[Remove this entierly due to teammate restrictions.] Great Tusk is another great team member to support Galarian Zapdos as it provides an electric immunity as well as rapid spin support, item removal and hazard support. In return, Galarian Zapdos handles faster Steel types like Iron Treads, Iron Crown and Excadrill.[Re word this, as Great Tusk is a nice support mon for Galarian Zapdos, also talk about how its a great physical wall while taking out threats like Iron Hands and Zeraora. so basically talk about how its a great wall + providing utility in entry hazards with Stealth Rock + Removing them with Rapid Spin. then talk about how it handles the threats. Also the in return part, defensive Tusk is dealing with Drill and treads. You can say how Galarian Zapdos takes out Grass-types like Ogerpon-W, Tapu Bulu, and M venu for Tusk. ] Finally, Iron Valiant Does well against the multitude of dragons and that are bulky enough to withstand Galarian Zapdos's attacks or outspeed with their own Choice Scarf such as Latias/Mega Latias, Weavile, Kyurem, Iron Hands and Spd Rotom Wash. [Talk about how Z or Choice Specs iron valiant deals with a plethora of threats for Galarian Zapdos.]
- Re organize the teammate mentions to Iron Valiant then M Gallade then Iron Hands then Kommo-o/Keldeo/Hisuian Lilligant
- Add in Hisuian Lilligant as teammate: Provides sleep support while easing the water and ground match up.
- Add in Mega Gallade: Great setup sweeper while also taking out pesky poison teams.

[CREDITS]
Written by: https://www.smogon.com/forums/members/thekingsleap.637816/
Type analysis by: https://www.smogon.com/forums/members/thekingsleap.637816/
Quality checked by:
QC1 URL
QC2 URL
Grammar checked by:
GP1 URL
 
Mateeus

Mateeus

is a Site Content Manageris a Community Contributoris a Tiering Contributoris a Contributor to Smogon
-> You could simply say "Galarian Zapdos is an excellent Choice Scarf user on Fighting teams thanks to its unique set of traits within the type" in your introductory sentence (you're already going to describe the moves and interactions in the paragraph);
-> Brave Bird is obvious stab, remove its description;
-> Steel Wing OHKOing Mega Diancie should be the highlight of the move instead of saying it covers Fairies. You could say "Steel Wing notably OHKOes a huge threat to Fighting teams in Mega Diancie, while also nailing Tapu Lele and... (example)";
-> Would remove Slowbro and Gholdengo from the koff examples as their common sets wall gapdos regardless;
-> Mention U-Turn pivots Galarian Zapdos out of bad matchups (such as the aforementioned Slowbro and Gholdengo);
-> I think saying Valiant/Mega Gallade are able to wallbreak thru walls like... is a better example of how they are good teammates;
-> Mega Charizard Y and Pelipper feel awkward as examples of what Iron Hands takes on. You could instead mention things like Tornadus-Therian or Hatterene;
-> Out of what you said makes Great Tusk a good teammate, you should prob highlight it being a Stealth Rock setter, which helps it land more kills, and an Electric immunity. Everything else about it isn't as relevant;
-> I think it's worth mentioning Hisuian Lilligant and Galarian Zapdos make a great late-game cleaning duo instead, rather than solely saying H-Lilli helps in the water and ground mus.

qc 2/2 :staravia:
 
TheKingsLeap

TheKingsLeap

Mateeus said:
-> You could simply say "Galarian Zapdos is an excellent Choice Scarf user on Fighting teams thanks to its unique set of traits within the type" in your introductory sentence (you're already going to describe the moves and interactions in the paragraph);
-> Brave Bird is obvious stab, remove its description;
-> Steel Wing OHKOing Mega Diancie should be the highlight of the move instead of saying it covers Fairies. You could say "Steel Wing notably OHKOes a huge threat to Fighting teams in Mega Diancie, while also nailing Tapu Lele and... (example)";
-> Would remove Slowbro and Gholdengo from the koff examples as their common sets wall gapdos regardless;
-> Mention U-Turn pivots Galarian Zapdos out of bad matchups (such as the aforementioned Slowbro and Gholdengo);
-> I think saying Valiant/Mega Gallade are able to wallbreak thru walls like... is a better example of how they are good teammates;
-> Mega Charizard Y and Pelipper feel awkward as examples of what Iron Hands takes on. You could instead mention things like Tornadus-Therian or Hatterene;
-> Out of what you said makes Great Tusk a good teammate, you should prob highlight it being a Stealth Rock setter, which helps it land more kills, and an Electric immunity. Everything else about it isn't as relevant;
-> I think it's worth mentioning Hisuian Lilligant and Galarian Zapdos make a great late-game cleaning duo instead, rather than solely saying H-Lilli helps in the water and ground mus.

qc 2/2 :staravia:
Click to expand...
Implemented, ty Mateeus
 
adorluigi

adorluigi

amcheck
Add Remove Comment
based off of the QC comments, Steel Wing was missing from the first sentence "notably OHKOes a huge threat to..." so I just added it myself, feel free to remove if it that's not right
[SET]
Zapdos-Galar @ Choice Scarf
Name: Choice Scarf (Fighting)
Ability: Defiant
EVs: 252 Atk / 4 Spd / 252 Spe
Jolly Nature
- Brave Bird
- Close Combat
- Steel Wing / Knock Off
- U-turn

[SET COMMENTS]
Galarian Zapdos is an excellent Choice Scarf user on Fighting teams thanks to its unique set of traits within the type; Steel Wing notably OHKOes a huge threat to Fighting teams in Mega Diancie,(remove comma) while also nailing Tapu Lele and Alolan Ninetales,.(+ period) while Knock Off targets Psychic- and Ghost-types like Galarian Slowking, Jirachi, and Galarian Corsola. Finally, U-turn is a pivoting move that can bring in teammates while getting chip damage on the opposing foe,(remove comma) as well as switching it Galarian Zapdos out of bad matchups like Slowbro and Gholdengo. Iron Valiant equipped with Choice Specs or a Z-Crystal is able to wallbreak through pokemon Pokemon that would wall Galarian Zapdos such as Kyurem, Latias, Raging Bolt,(comma) and Tapu Koko. Mega Gallade is another great teammate for Galarian Zapdos,(comma) as it acts as a great setup sweeper and wallbreaker with Swords Dance and greatly improves the poison Poison matchup. Iron Hands is a great teammate (repetition) also pairs well, as it has a flying neutrality neutrality to Flying and can hit opposing flying types Flying-types with Ice Punch or Thunder Punch,(remove comma) as well as having access to a slow Volt Switch volt switch that can bring Galarian Zapdos in safely. Iron Hand's Iron Hands's great bulk also allows it to take on otherwise problematic threats like Enamorus-T, Tornadus-T, and Pelipper. Enamorus- and Tornadus-Therian, and Pelipper. Great Tusk is a nice support Pokemon mon for Galarian Zapdos,(comma) as it provides an electric immunity Electric-immune teammate as well as rapid spin Rapid Spin and Stealth Rock support and being a Stealth Rock setter, helping Galarian Zapdos to get more KOs. It's also a great physical wall and can take out threats such as Iron hands and Zeraora. In return, Galarian Zapdos handles Grass-types like Ogerpon-W, Tapu Bulu, and Mega Venusaur for it Great Tusk. Finally, Hisuian Lilligant can be a good team member for Galarian Zapdos,(comma) as it provides sleep support, taking counters to Galarian Zapdos out of the picture and easing the Water and Ground matchups water and ground matchup. Hisuian Lilligant and Galarian Zapdos also make a great late-game cleaning duo.

[CREDITS]
Written by: (added indent)
https://www.smogon.com/forums/members/thekingsleap.637816/
Type analysis by: https://www.smogon.com/forums/members/thekingsleap.637816/ No need for type analysis; "Written by" is enough
Quality checked by:
https://www.smogon.com/forums/members/boomp.637295/
https://www.smogon.com/forums/members/mateeus.321991/
Grammar checked by:
GP1 URL
 
Rose

Rose

is a Forum Moderatoris a Community Contributoris a Top Contributoris a Battle Simulator Moderator
add remove comment

[SET]
Zapdos-Galar @ Choice Scarf
Name: Choice Scarf (Fighting)
Ability: Defiant
EVs: 252 Atk / 4 Spd / 252 Spe
Jolly Nature
- Brave Bird
- Close Combat
- Steel Wing / Knock Off
- U-turn

[SET COMMENTS]
Galarian Zapdos is an excellent Choice Scarf user on Fighting teams thanks to its unique set of traits within the type; type. Steel Wing notably OHKOes a huge threat to Fighting these teams in Mega Diancie while also nailing Tapu Lele and Alolan Ninetales. Knock Off targets Psychic- and Ghost-types like Galarian Slowking, Jirachi, and Galarian Corsola. Finally, U-turn can bring in teammates while getting chip damage on the opposing foe as well as switching Galarian Zapdos out of bad matchups like Slowbro and Gholdengo. Iron Valiant equipped with Choice Specs or a Z-Crystal is able to wallbreak break through Pokemon that wall Galarian Zapdos such as Kyurem, Latias, Raging Bolt, and Tapu Koko. Mega Gallade is another great teammate for Galarian Zapdos, (comma) as it acts as a great setup sweeper and wallbreaker with Swords Dance and greatly improves the Poison matchup. Iron Hands also pairs well with Galarian Zapdos, as it has a neutrality to Flying, (comma) and can hit Flying-types with Ice Punch or Thunder Punch, (comma) as well as having access to and has a slow Volt Switch that can bring Galarian Zapdos it in safely. Iron Hands's great bulk also allows it to take on otherwise problematic threats like Enamorus-T, Tornadus-T, and Pelipper. Great Tusk is a nice support Pokemon for Galarian Zapdos, as it provides an Electric-immune teammate Electric immunity as well as Rapid Spin and Stealth Rock support, helping Galarian Zapdos get more KOs. It's also a great physical wall and can take out threats such as Iron hands Hands and Zeraora. In return, Galarian Zapdos handles Grass-types like Ogerpon-W, Tapu Bulu, and Mega Venusaur for it. Finally, Hisuian Lilligant can be a good team member for Galarian Zapdos, as it provides sleep support, taking counters to Galarian Zapdos out of the picture and easing the Water and Ground matchups. Hisuian Lilligant and Galarian Zapdos also make a great late-game cleaning duo.

[CREDITS]
Written by:
https://www.smogon.com/forums/members/thekingsleap.637816/
Quality checked by:
https://www.smogon.com/forums/members/boomp.637295/
https://www.smogon.com/forums/members/mateeus.321991/
Grammar checked by:

- "Pairs" is a transitive verb, so it needs an object.
- The first Iron Hands sentence could've been simplified into a list.
- The "Hands" in "Iron Hands" wasn't capitalized in the fourth to last sentence.
- The "opposing" in "opposing foe" is redundant. Similarly, "has access to" can just be shortened to "has".

1/1 GP Team done
Credit adorluigi too!
 
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